I've been chasing the idea of making my own courses and expanding it into creating my own business, but I have a full-time job a house under construction and now I'm 3 months pregnant. I continue to dream with this goal which now sounds unrealistic and having a baby coming feels like an expiration date for my dreams. Don't get me wrong, I'm VERY excited for it, but it's already hard to create something without having kids, so the idea scares me. I also battle with the feeling of fraud for not believing I can teach what I do. Can't related more to this but not sure how to let that shit go!!
CONGRATS on your pregnancy! And also, I relate to all of this. I only shared the "hard to find time for creativity" part of this kid equation. The other, bigger and richer side, is that I LOVE being a mom. Having Etta has been more fun (and actually easier) than I expected. I suppose it's a good problem that I like all of it and want time for MORE.
You have a ton going on (way more than most non-pregnant people). It sounds like you're already kicking ass and you're just getting started.
Yay! Happy to hear from you and 10000% relate. I quit everything (design work-wise) when my second kiddo was born and we were away from family and TOTALLY compared myself to the other people I saw posting 1% of their life online but seemingly doing the kid thing and the art thing and the having all the shit together thing. Haha! It's easier to see that we all have different capacities/help/etc. when the hormones are back to somewhat normal after baby days, right!?
YES! Thank you for sharing this. I know it's more normal to feel this way than not, but until I say it out loud it feels so isolating. Thanks for reading and making me feel less alone :)
I have the beginnings of a book stashed away in my drawer that's only a ruler-stick away from where I spend most of my day and hate that I still haven't revisited it in a long while. The shame is real. Really appreciate your message today.
Letting it go and making a soft, not scary plan to pursue when I'm ready.
Thank you for sharing! I have a similar project where I feel the same.
A friend told me something that changed my perspective on the guilt of the pile of books I buy but don't read (I realize you're probably referring to writing a book vs. reading a book): It's not a guilt pile, it's an "I'll read this when the time is right pile". Not sure if that perspective is helpful or enabling...haha. Long story short: I get it and thank you for reminding me I'm not the only one.
Ye olde 'Circle of Life'. I've gone through some major crap in my life (and a kid) and the thing that ALWAYS suffered was my art. It's hard to break out of that 'new cycle' (kid duties, illness, caregiving, whatever) an get your old self back. Even worse when you're paying the bills with a real jobby-job (current status). This is my long-winded way of saying do what you can, when you can, and a new flow will emerge.
Loved every word of this. Hearing someone else say it makes me think how I'm feeling is more of the norm (and not the exception). Trusting in that new flow! (Which has already been emerging!).
Fellow mom creative here, relating! It takes years to adjust, and it’s normal to be too overwhelmed with non-negotiable life tasks, like taking care of another human, to do creative work we once did. Take baby steps. I’m still doing it and often still feel like a fraud (my oldest is 5yo and youngest is 9months). Good news is, our creativity can be used in lots of new ways while mothering. Squeeze it in for yourself when you can, and when you can’t, don’t feel bad about it. Still taking my own advice :)
Susie! This is the truest thing I have ever read: "It takes years to adjust, and it’s normal to be too overwhelmed with non-negotiable life tasks, like taking care of another human, to do creative work we once did." I couldn't have said it better myself. Thanks for making me feel less alone!
Yes, to all of this. Welcome back. Remember to slather yourself in grace while letting the shit go. To answer your question, The routine/process of questioning and complaining (to myself) why I’m not getting things done that I have told myself were important. I mean, if they’re THAT important, then wouldn’t I be doing them? Or taking steps to get them done…? So…I’m letting go of that questioning and beating myself up and deciding to either do it or put it away. And move on. I’m talking about writing The Book I’ve Been Working On Since Forever.
It’s time to take it seriously and do the work OR accept it’s time to put it away and do something else.
YES! Love all of this. Thanks for taking the time to write. I have a book idea I feel similarly about. Personal creative work is hard because we have to come up with both the problem and solution...AND THE DEADLINE! No wonder it takes a "minute" to come together.
I've been chasing the idea of making my own courses and expanding it into creating my own business, but I have a full-time job a house under construction and now I'm 3 months pregnant. I continue to dream with this goal which now sounds unrealistic and having a baby coming feels like an expiration date for my dreams. Don't get me wrong, I'm VERY excited for it, but it's already hard to create something without having kids, so the idea scares me. I also battle with the feeling of fraud for not believing I can teach what I do. Can't related more to this but not sure how to let that shit go!!
CONGRATS on your pregnancy! And also, I relate to all of this. I only shared the "hard to find time for creativity" part of this kid equation. The other, bigger and richer side, is that I LOVE being a mom. Having Etta has been more fun (and actually easier) than I expected. I suppose it's a good problem that I like all of it and want time for MORE.
You have a ton going on (way more than most non-pregnant people). It sounds like you're already kicking ass and you're just getting started.
Yay! Happy to hear from you and 10000% relate. I quit everything (design work-wise) when my second kiddo was born and we were away from family and TOTALLY compared myself to the other people I saw posting 1% of their life online but seemingly doing the kid thing and the art thing and the having all the shit together thing. Haha! It's easier to see that we all have different capacities/help/etc. when the hormones are back to somewhat normal after baby days, right!?
YES! Thank you for sharing this. I know it's more normal to feel this way than not, but until I say it out loud it feels so isolating. Thanks for reading and making me feel less alone :)
I have the beginnings of a book stashed away in my drawer that's only a ruler-stick away from where I spend most of my day and hate that I still haven't revisited it in a long while. The shame is real. Really appreciate your message today.
Letting it go and making a soft, not scary plan to pursue when I'm ready.
Thank you for sharing! I have a similar project where I feel the same.
A friend told me something that changed my perspective on the guilt of the pile of books I buy but don't read (I realize you're probably referring to writing a book vs. reading a book): It's not a guilt pile, it's an "I'll read this when the time is right pile". Not sure if that perspective is helpful or enabling...haha. Long story short: I get it and thank you for reminding me I'm not the only one.
Ye olde 'Circle of Life'. I've gone through some major crap in my life (and a kid) and the thing that ALWAYS suffered was my art. It's hard to break out of that 'new cycle' (kid duties, illness, caregiving, whatever) an get your old self back. Even worse when you're paying the bills with a real jobby-job (current status). This is my long-winded way of saying do what you can, when you can, and a new flow will emerge.
Loved every word of this. Hearing someone else say it makes me think how I'm feeling is more of the norm (and not the exception). Trusting in that new flow! (Which has already been emerging!).
Fellow mom creative here, relating! It takes years to adjust, and it’s normal to be too overwhelmed with non-negotiable life tasks, like taking care of another human, to do creative work we once did. Take baby steps. I’m still doing it and often still feel like a fraud (my oldest is 5yo and youngest is 9months). Good news is, our creativity can be used in lots of new ways while mothering. Squeeze it in for yourself when you can, and when you can’t, don’t feel bad about it. Still taking my own advice :)
Susie! This is the truest thing I have ever read: "It takes years to adjust, and it’s normal to be too overwhelmed with non-negotiable life tasks, like taking care of another human, to do creative work we once did." I couldn't have said it better myself. Thanks for making me feel less alone!
Yes, to all of this. Welcome back. Remember to slather yourself in grace while letting the shit go. To answer your question, The routine/process of questioning and complaining (to myself) why I’m not getting things done that I have told myself were important. I mean, if they’re THAT important, then wouldn’t I be doing them? Or taking steps to get them done…? So…I’m letting go of that questioning and beating myself up and deciding to either do it or put it away. And move on. I’m talking about writing The Book I’ve Been Working On Since Forever.
It’s time to take it seriously and do the work OR accept it’s time to put it away and do something else.
Here we are! Cheers to fresh starts!
YES! Love all of this. Thanks for taking the time to write. I have a book idea I feel similarly about. Personal creative work is hard because we have to come up with both the problem and solution...AND THE DEADLINE! No wonder it takes a "minute" to come together.